The Knowing Self

What sits beneath behaviour matters.

Most of human behaviour is shaped beneath awareness by emotion, perception, and learned patterns.

When we understand what’s happening underneath, everything above it changes.

The Knowing Self is a way of understanding what drives behaviour.

Where this understanding is applied::

The Knowing Self Family

A family-centred application of The Knowing Self, focused on understanding behaviour, emotional dynamics, and repair, without urgency or blame.

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Leaders and Teams

Applied in leadership and organisational contexts to support clearer decision-making, healthier dynamics, and reduced reactivity.

COMING SOON

Speaking and Workshops

Conversations that introduce this way of understanding behaviour in schools, organisations, and communities.

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Meet Amanda Stokes

Founder of The Knowing Self


For over two decades, Amanda has been drawn to what sits beneath the surface, the emotional, relational, and perceptual layers that shape how humans behave, connect, and lead.

Her work lives at the intersection of psychology, emotional intelligence, and lived experience. It explores how meaning is formed, how patterns repeat, and how awareness changes what we can’t unsee.

What began in classrooms as a deep interest in the whole child has evolved into a broader philosophy: a way of understanding ourselves, each other, and the systems we move within, at home, at work, and in the spaces where people gather.

Amanda’s work is grounded, human, and quietly transformative. It centres language, reflection, and self-leadership as the starting point for safer, more connected ways of being.

about amanda

To know yourself is to open the only door that leads everywhere you wish to go.

Begin where you are.

Awareness is the first step toward change, in ourselves, in our families, and in the spaces we lead.

When we understand what lives beneath the surface,
we create the conditions for growth, trust, and genuine connection.